Thursday, September 20, 2007

A memorable message

There are few things as painful as hearing a friend weep over the phone. You feel horrible and helpless – you cannot reach out and pat the person or give him or her a hug and say “It’s OK. I am there.” You cannot even see the tears. You can only hear a breaking voice, a slight sniffle and utter despair.


I immediately dropped everything I was doing – an editor is going to be mad at me but what the hell – and ran over to see her. She told me she was fine and would be OK but then, that’s what she would say. She’s that kind of person.


Fortunately, she actually seemed a lot better by the time I got there. The smile was back and we chatted of this and that and discussed all kinds of professional things. The tears were not mentioned. And as we walked back, I decided to drop into a cafe for a bite to eat. She hesitated for a while, saying she had to get back home, but joined me – she had barely eaten all day. We kept nattering about all kinds of things, heard some music (“Affirmation” by Savage Garden) and then trooped off into the Metro for the trip home.


We didn’t talk much about her crying on the phone. She seemed a bit tired, but not too upset. As I got off at my station and waved her goodbye, I wondered if my going to see her had been necessary. I mean, she seemed fine. Was I embarrassing her – after all, she was old enough to handle things herself? People get upset all the time.


As I was climbing the stairs to the next platform, my phone buzzed. I was a text message from her.


It is a message I am going to keep as long as I have a phone. One that I am going to treasure. And it comprised a single word and a punctuation mark.


“THANKS!”


And I smiled all the way...

I have a friend who works incredibly hard and is extremely dedicated. But she seldom gets credit for the work she does. I do try to tell her that she makes a difference, but she thinks I say so only to make her feel better. I think she is taken a bit for granted by far too many of her friends (and she has lots of friends – I stopped counting after 88). And somewhere that hurts her.


It hurts me too. And not just because she is a friend. But because it is so unfair.


But that might be able to change. I was walking back with one of my colleagues and suddenly – right out of the blue – she started praising this friend of mine. She said she was wonderful and creative and wasn’t it a shame that she almost never got the credit she deserved? She kept talking like this for a while.


And then she stopped and looked at me. And asked: “Why on earth are you smiling like that?”


I thought about trying to explain. About just how good it felt to hear someone you like being praised. Especially someone who deserved praise but seldom got it. But it was too difficult, so I just nodded and said: “Thanks,” and waved her goodbye. She must have thought I was crazy. So must have lots of people in the Metro – they saw someone smiling for no apparent reason.


You see, I was happy. Happier than I had been for a while.


All thanks to a friend who works incredibly hard.


Who says hard work doesn’t pay?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Feeling useless

Sometimes you feel useless. You might be doing well professionally. And not doing too badly on the financial front either. You might have stacks of people you can call friends. And yet some things can make you feel useless.


One of my friends was very upset in the evening today. Worse, she was quietly upset. She is not the quiet type. If anything, she is one of the most chirpy people I know, seldom at a loss for words. A person who makes places come alive. Even when she is upset, she normally makes her feelings known. And the Lord help you if she is angry.


But today, she was upset. And very quiet. I did not know why.


I tried cheering her up. She gave one smile. And went off to spend some time by herself.


And I felt useless.


Would she have felt better if I had told her how worried I was about her? Would she have felt better if I had told her that I thought she was one of the most creative people I have come across, in terms of generating ideas? Would she have felt better if I had told her that I really envied her ability to work hard, even when she did not get the credit she deserved? Would she have felt better if I had told her that she was one of the most honest people I know and a credit to her profession?


Or would it have helped to have told her that she is one of the few people who makes me feel strangely lonely whenever she leaves?


I don’t know the answers. All I know is that she was upset. And I could not cheer her up.


Sometimes you feel useless.


Because that is exactly what you are, if you cannot make a friend feel better.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

I've learnt

I've learnt that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.


I've learnt that no matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt you every once in a while, And you must forgive them for that.


True friendship continues to grow even over longest distances, same goes for true love.


That you can do something in an instant, that could give you heartache for life.


I've learnt that its taking me a long time to become the person, you want me to be.


I've learnt that you should leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you them.


That you can keep going, long after you can't.


I've learnt that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.


I've learnt that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is the passion soon fades away, And there'd better be something else to take its place.


I've learnt that hero's are the people, who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences.


Money is a lousy way of keeping score.


That my friend and I can do anything or nothing, And still have the best time together.


I've learnt that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the ones to help you get back up.


That sometimes when I am angry I have the right to be angry,

but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


I've learnt that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,

it doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have.


It isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you need to forgive yourself.


I've learnt that maturity has nothing to do with the number of birthdays you've celebrated,

but its more to do with the experiences you have had and what you've learnt from them.


That however bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.


I've learnt that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,

but we are responsible for what we become.


I've learnt that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other,

And just because they don't, it doesn't mean they do.


You shouldn't be eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.


I've learnt that two people can look at exactly the same thing, and still see something totally different.


That your life can be changed in a matter of hours, by people who don't even know you.


I've learnt that even when you have no more to give,

When a friend cries out, you will find the strength to help.


I've learnt that credentials on the wall doesn't make you a decent human being.


That people you care about most in life, Are the ones taken away from you too soon.